“Even with sufficient support, all parents feel like hurting their children at times”.
Luckily feeling like hurting, doesn’t mean you have to act hurtful.
Let your anger be your vehicle to bring connection and understanding
As Marshall Rosenberg says:
“Anger can be a wonderful wake up call to help you understand what you need and what you value. Use anger as a wake-up call to unmet needs.“
In other words: because you feel angry, it doesn’t mean that you aren’t loving your child and also it doesn’t mean that you are a bad parent. It just means you’re having an unmet need.
The first step thus is to treat yourself with love and compassion, so you can uncover that unmet need. This can bring you more clarity of what is going on in you and why you are feeling angry and upset. Identifying your needs (and promising yourself to take care of them), can help you to feel calmer. You might still feel angry, but not in a way you want to act out or hide it deeply in yourself.
12 tips + explanation
for almost all parenting struggles
without time-outs, rewards or sleeptraining
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About the author:
Hi! My name is Chris Muller, MSc, BTA. I am a psychologist, counselor in Transactional Analysis, Aware Parenting instructor (level 2) regional coordinator the Netherlands and mother. For 10 years I provide support to parents through training, the Aware Parenting Education and 1-on-1 guidance. With a lot of love I help you to treat children AND yourself with love and respect. It is my passion that you experience more joy and more connection with your child AND with yourself! X